Keep the Aspidistra Flying
‘Gordon! You don’t mean that? You aren’t really thinking of having an aspidistra?’
‘Yes, I am. We won’t let ours get dusty, either. They say an old toothbrush is the best thing to clean them with.’ George Orwell
It’s two o’clock in the morning – I’ve just cleaned mine with an old sponge.
Not a bride
It was last Saturday morning; I came to and staggered across the wedding gown lying in the middle of the floor; focusing on my breathing I splashed my face and raised my head to see a black eye staring back at me.
I am single.
I got the black eye taking the dress off.
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times 